Am I a Bad mother

Am I A Bad Mother?

Nice Mother Bad Mother

Am I a bad mother? Really!

As if a new mother doesn’t have enough on her plate!

Society nowadays places a lot of pressure on new mothers instead of supporting them. The standards which mothers are expected to live up to.  The mountains of information out there, bombarding new mothers everyday telling them what makes a good parent, which automatically telling you that the opposite would mean bad-parenting . Tell them to Just Go Away..

  • Have you been starred at or looked at funny because you expressed that you are board or fed up with being constantly on demand?
  • Have you been made to feel guilty because you were driven up the wall because of your baby’s constant crying?
  • Were you embarrassed because you yelled at your baby to STOP doing something, after telling him/her for the hundredth time not to do it in a controlled voice?

This kind of questions can go on and on. The delightful truth is: welcome to motherhood, it’s all part of being a mother!

The Dos and Don’ts

  • Do listen to your motherly instinct. It is more knowledgeable than all the gurus.
  • Do follow the advice/guidance of your health visitor/doctor.
  • Do be yourself with your baby.
  • Do bond hug and kiss your baby as often as you can. You can never spoil a baby enough.
  • Don’t listen to those who haven’t got babies yet they are so willing to give you advice.
  • Don’t get overwhelmed by the overload of information out there.
  • Don’t pay any attention to judgmental people, they haven’t got any idea how you are feeling.
  • Don’t give any value to other people’s theories unless it makes perfect sense to you.
  • Don’t feel guilty about needing and wanting adult time and a break from your baby. It will do both of you a lot of good.

You are the only person who truly understand your little miracle. Be proud, be strong and have courage and DO NOT allow anybody to make you feel insecure or uncomfortable about how you look after your baby. YOU are doing a great job.

Before You Became A Mother,

You ARE A Woman!

And hey, guess What! You are still a woman. It is so easy to get so immersed into your new roll, (NO WONDER, it is so time consuming and so demanding) and forget all your personal needs as a woman. Don’t fall into that trap. The more you stay in touch with the woman inside you, the better mother you will be.

Look after yourself: take up exercise, eat well and rest well. Take time to re-energize, relaxation music and maybe meditation for body-soul-and mind. Time taken for yourself, like when your baby is asleep, is precious and valuable time IT will help you look after Bambino much better and a lot more effectively. Go For It

 

Don’t Be A SuperHero!

Enlist all the help you can get. Never say no to an offer of a helping hand. Any offer from a trusted friend or a relative should be accepted and utilized to the maximum possible. You need it! Be appreciative and accept rather than being a hero and reject.

When you allow other people to help you looking after your baby, he/she will learn to deal and interact with them and their children if they have any as well. It is a win win situation.

Join your health-visitor’s mother and baby group, where she will wight and check your baby, and you will have a chance to meet other mothers who are  in the same situation and the same stage of their baby’s age. Familiarize yourself with those mothers because you will meet them at the other playgroups then at the Nurseries, pre-schools and schools.

Eradicate Guilt..!

If there is a word, that you should erase from your dictionary and eradicate the negative emotion that comes attached to it, it will be GUILT!

You are a loving, caring and pampering mother, yet, at every twist and turn you end up feeling guilty. Guilt is a negative and destructive emotion that achieves nothing other than making you feel bad and inadequate.

New mothers usually more susceptive to guilt, because often, they are not sure about one thing or another when looking after their lovely new baby. Please don’t be a victim to guilt.

You are doing your very best for your baby, and that is more than enough and if you are reading this, that means that you already roamed around my site and read all the other advice and information, which I keep simple and straight to the point for maximum benefit for you and your little miracle.

 

Mothers Down The Ages

Mothers down the ages and across different cultures and civilizations, have always been revered and celebrated to the degree that some has placed them in a God-like state, others have told their followers that heaven is beneath their mother’s feet.

Anywhere in the world today, you will find a date set aside in the calendar to celebrate the mother, the dates might differ but nonetheless all celebrate it.

The mother is everything she is our consolation in sorrow, our hope in misery, and our strength in weakness. She is the source of love, mercy, sympathy, and forgiveness. He who loses his mother loses a pure soul who blesses and guards him constantly.

Khalil Gibran

So, let us celebrate ourselves for all the things that we do. You should seriously do this and enjoy every moment of every day with your baby.

Bond Love and Laugh.

Let me leave you with few quotes of my favourite storyteller:

Mother: the most beautiful word on the lips of mankind.

Khalil Gibran

For the sight of the angry weather saddens my soul and sight of the town, sitting like a bereaved mother beneath layers of ice, oppresses my heart.

Khalil Gibran

And finally let me end with this beautiful quote:

Women opened the windows of my eyes and the doors of my spirit. Had it not been for the woman-mother the woman-sister and the woman-friend, I would have been sleeping among those who seek the tranquility of the world with their snoring.

Khalil Gibran

If you liked what you read, Khalil Gibran is a legend of an author a poet and an artist his most renowned work was ” The Prophet ” you can get all of his works at Amazon at an amazing prices follow the link bellow and you will thoroughly enjoy the experience because Gibran is an experience:

 

If you have any questions or a story that you would like to share with me here, please don’t hesitate to do so.

And always remember to:

BOND LOVE AND LAUGH A LOT.

Please share:

8 thoughts on “Am I A Bad Mother?”

  1. This post is very interesting. It is funny how people are quick to judge you by your actions. This really resonates with me. I have kids and I know how it is. As a mother I need some ‘me time’ to myself. I’m always busy taking care of the kids and the family. So I try to take care of myself by meditating and going to yoga classes. to keep my sanity. Thanks again for this amazing post.

    1. Hi bea

      Many thanks for your interest in this post. It is so true, we all need our me time in order to continue being super mums. I like the fact that you took to yoga, maybe I should try that then I can write about it.
      Many thanks again.

      Rima

  2. My children are grown. It goes so fast. I’m still their mom, but I don’t get nearly as many cuddles. (Don’t get barfed or pooped on much anymore either. It’s not all bad.)

    I look forward to being the grandma. My plan is to make my children’s lives as easy as possible when my grandbabies arrive. My children will probably tell their kids I’m just an old person trying to get into heaven, with dire predictions that it’ll be tough going. I can live with that.

    Being a mom is rewarding, but it’s so-o hard too. Moms should get lots of help, and encouragement, so they can be at their best.

    1. Hi Elizabeth

      You are so right although motherhood is so rewarding it is a very hard work. Your grand children will be very lucky to have you there for them and their parents even luckier to have your support.
      Thank you for sharing.

      Rima

  3. It is really a difficult job being a mom! The problem is that all of us thinks as we are superheroes and we like it! It is not our job to be superheroes though; we have to be mothers! As you’ve already mentioned we have to be ourselves with our children! We have to be ourselves with our husbands too! You see, many of us leave the husband behind and take care of our babies! This is not good! Yes, we are women too but our husband is our baby’s father and it is good to be part of this relationship and never feel abandoned and alone! We are together in this thing and we need his help! And it is great to ask for his help! Great post! Thanks for sharing!
    Best wishes,
    Rebecca!

    1. Hi Rebecca

      Thank you for your lovely comment. You are absolutely right, husbands are big part of it of course and you are right some mothers do leave the husbands behind.
      Thank you for dropping by.

  4. l am glad to get this information, as I am a mother with 2 kids and don’t like it when people judge me when I am really just doing the best I can 🙂

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